Private College Student Loan

writinggirl2writingwoman this photo is not me click on the photo

Summary: writinggirl2writingwoman this photo is not me click on the photo to go the flickr photostream where it is posted but a reasonable approximation of how i dress and what i look like when i leave my home today i was harrassed not once but twice every morning i walk 3 blocks from the bus stop to my office obviously i also make this walk in reverse every afternoon i work in the heart of my city rsquo s downtown and one block from three different shelters the parking situation in our city is such that i am actually only walking about 1 2 block more than anyone from my office who drives into work and has to park in a city lot it rsquo s not a bad walk and generally i see at least a couple other professionals out at the same time that i am walking i also get off the bus just before it turns into its central station so there is a lot of bus traffic and it is a major exit off the freeway as well today was a little different because i was going in at 7 30 instead of 8 or 8 30 and because there is some construction at the block where my office is so traffic is sometimes heavier than usual and sometimes lighter than usual as people have begun to find alternative routes so this morning i noticed a couple of guys white appeared to be about middle age appeared to be working men who had come from the bus depot as well across the street from me there was almost no traffic at all once i got past the bus station the men started to call across the street to me ldquo hey arab rdquo ldquo hey arab rdquo hellip ldquo you don rsquo t speak english rdquo hellip ldquo hey arab rdquo and they started to fake an arab like accent and kept yelling hellip for TWO blocks they stopped when we got to the corner just before i nbsp cut thru a small parking structure to get to my office i think they stopped because at that corner there were some construction men witnesses i got to the office fine with no further trouble while walking i ignored them completely once i got past the construction though and i couldn rsquo t hear them anymore and couldn rsquo t see them that actually made me more nervous because i didn rsquo t know if they had crossed the street to my side if they were behind me just waiting to get away from the construction workers to continue their game but i also wasn rsquo t willing to turn around and appear panicky looking i just held my head high and kept moving while i was walking i asked myself why i wasn rsquo t afraid shouldn rsquo t i be more worried i was making dhikr praying and i was thinking that they sure would get a surprise if they tried to come up on me thinking i wasn rsquo t the sort to beat them down it wasn rsquo t until i was in the office that i started to shake and realized how afraid i was i suppose it was survival mode you can rsquo t show your fear and you have to be ready to stand your ground today was a half day and i planned to go to the mosque for Friday prayers i got the bus over to the mosque only to realize that i had known that mosque wasn rsquo t going to be open because they were holding prayers in the building next to the new mosque they are working on the new mosque isn rsquo t convenient for me to get to so i was planning to go to another mosque but had completely forgotten and followed my usual pattern after calling a couple of friends to see if they were still close enough to pick me up on the way to new mosque and not reaching anyone i decided i would just have to get back on the bus and still had time to make it to the other smaller mosque i had originally intended to visit as i was walking to the bus stop a guy who was stopped at the light yelled out his window at me he yelled ldquo my brother is over there killing you all rdquo sure he was in a car and gonna take off as soon as the light turned but it sure sounded s threatening to me i took it to mean that his brother is in the military and either in Afghanistan or Iraq and killing ldquo my kind rdquo and that this man didn rsquo t feel i had any right to be ldquo here rdquo but should be over ldquo there rdquo being killed by his brother whatever it was clear that he wanted me to feel bad guilty afraid to know that i am expendable killable there was a lot of traffic around him and it was a warm day most people had their windows down i didn rsquo t even look at him just kept looking and walking straight ahead twice in one day was too much i think i held my composure pretty well i called a friend and asked if he could give me a ride to the mosque but he said he was just packing his kids in to go and it was all full i laughed it off said no problem told him i rsquo d come to the wrong place he asked me if i was really okay said he heard something in my voice i said i was fine but he said ldquo what rsquo s going on what happened rdquo hellip we rsquo ve known each other for so many years that i can rsquo t fool him so i told him the truth and he said i rsquo d done the right thing to call him and i should always call him first when something happens that no matter where i was or what time it was he rsquo d come get me or send someone to get me right then the bus arrived so he was asking if he should drop the kids and his wife at the mosque and come over anyway but i said no i was fine to get on the bus and i rsquo d just go home which is what i did i rsquo m just saying anyone who thinks that people aren rsquo t still ldquo that way rdquo that people won rsquo t say and do nasty things even in public you are wrong and if you witness this kind of thing happen and you stay silent you are saying it rsquo s okay maybe you don rsquo t know what to say or do at the time but i hope you think about it and decide what you would say or do the next time and maybe when you hear coworkers or friends or family say stupid things that create a culture of acceptance around hating on Arabs Muslims women and others maybe you rsquo ll say something to them because this stuff does not happen in a vaccuum it isn rsquo t ldquo one bad apple rdquo it isn rsquo t just a joke and i don rsquo t have a sense of humor it is my LIFE my safety my security that i feel i can go to work go to the mosque go to the grocery store whatever without feeling like i could be attacked at any time my life depends on people making it clear that my life counts and that i don rsquo t deserve to be insulted followed questionned harrassed or threatened in any way my life depends on people paying attention to the fact that this stuff is happening in this supposedly free country where we supposedly value ldquo diversity rdquo and saying ldquo that won rsquo t happen on my watch rdquo I have to say this strikes very close to my heart as my wife is Muslim She chose to stop wearing hijab because she felt it drew more attention to her than she could handle especially considering her reason for wearing it was modesty which she defined as 8220 not drawing attention to oneself 8221 At once considered too liberal too conservative too religious too gay my wife is the woman I most admire and it breaks my heart to see our sister treated this way writinggirl2writingwoman this photo is not me click on the photo to go the flickr photostream where it is posted but a reasonable approximation of how i dress and what i look like when i leave my home today i was harrassed not once but twice every morning i walk 3 blocks from the bus stop to my office obviously i also make this walk in reverse every afternoon i work in the heart of my city rsquo s downtown and one block from three different shelters the parking situation in our city is such that i am actually only walking about 1 2 block more than anyone from my office who drives into work and has to park in a city lot it rsquo s not a bad walk and generally i see at least a couple other professionals out at the same time that i am walking i also get off the bus just before it turns into its central station so there is a lot of bus traffic and it is a major exit off the freeway as well today was a little different because i was going in at 7 30 instead of 8 or 8 30 and because there is some construction at the block where my office is so traffic is sometimes heavier than usual and sometimes lighter than usual as people have begun to find alternative routes so this morning i noticed a couple of guys white appeared to be about middle age appeared to be working men who had come from the bus depot as well across the street from me there was almost no traffic at all once i got past the bus station the men started to call across the street to me ldquo hey arab rdquo ldquo hey arab rdquo hellip ldquo you don rsquo t speak english rdquo hellip ldquo hey arab rdquo and they started to fake an arab like accent and kept yelling hellip for TWO blocks they stopped when we got to the corner just before i nbsp cut thru a small parking structure to get to my office i think they stopped because at that corner there were some construction men witnesses i got to the office fine with no further trouble while walking i ignored them completely once i got past the construction though and i couldn rsquo t hear them anymore and couldn rsquo t see them that actually made me more nervous because i didn rsquo t know if they had crossed the street to my side if they were behind me just waiting to get away from the construction workers to continue their game but i also wasn rsquo t willing to turn around and appear panicky looking i just held my head high and kept moving while i was walking i asked myself why i wasn rsquo t afraid shouldn rsquo t i be more worried i was making dhikr praying and i was thinking that they sure would get a surprise if they tried to come up on me thinking i wasn rsquo t the sort to beat them down it wasn rsquo t until i was in the office that i started to shake and realized how afraid i was i suppose it was survival mode you can rsquo t show your fear and you have to be ready to stand your ground today was a half day and i planned to go to the mosque for Friday prayers i got the bus over to the mosque only to realize that i had known that mosque wasn rsquo t going to be open because they were holding prayers in the building next to the new mosque they are working on the new mosque isn rsquo t convenient for me to get to so i was planning to go to another mosque but had completely forgotten and followed my usual pattern after calling a couple of friends to see if they were still close enough to pick me up on the way to new mosque and not reaching anyone i decided i would just have to get back on the bus and still had time to make it to the other smaller mosque i had originally intended to visit as i was walking to the bus stop a guy who was stopped at the light yelled out his window at me he yelled ldquo my brother is over there killing you all rdquo sure he was in a car and gonna take off as soon as the light turned but it sure sounded s threatening to me i took it to mean that his brother is in the military and either in Afghanistan or Iraq and killing ldquo my kind rdquo and that this man didn rsquo t feel i had any right to be ldquo here rdquo but should be over ldquo there rdquo being killed by his brother whatever it was clear that he wanted me to feel bad guilty afraid to know that i am expendable killable there was a lot of traffic around him and it was a warm day most people had their windows down i didn rsquo t even look at him just kept looking and walking straight ahead twice in one day was too much i think i held my composure pretty well i called a friend and asked if he could give me a ride to the mosque but he said he was just packing his kids in to go and it was all full i laughed it off said no problem told him i rsquo d come to the wrong place he asked me if i was really okay said he heard something in my voice i said i was fine but he said ldquo what rsquo s going on what happened rdquo hellip we rsquo ve known each other for so many years that i can rsquo t fool him so i told him the truth and he said i rsquo d done the right thing to call him and i should always call him first when something happens that no matter where i was or what time it was he rsquo d come get me or send someone to get me right then the bus arrived so he was asking if he should drop the kids and his wife at the mosque and come over anyway but i said no i was fine to get on the bus and i rsquo d just go home which is what i did i rsquo m just saying anyone who thinks that people aren rsquo t still ldquo that way rdquo that people won rsquo t say and do nasty things even in public you are wrong and if you witness this kind of thing happen and you stay silent you are saying it rsquo s okay maybe you don rsquo t know what to say or do at the time but i hope you think about it and decide what you would say or do the next time and maybe when you hear coworkers or friends or family say stupid things that create a culture of acceptance around hating on Arabs Muslims women and others maybe you rsquo ll say something to them because this stuff does not happen in a vaccuum it isn rsquo t ldquo one bad apple rdquo it isn rsquo t just a joke and i don rsquo t have a sense of humor it is my LIFE my safety my security that i feel i can go to work go to the mosque go to the grocery store whatever without feeling like i could be attacked at any time my life depends on people making it clear that my life counts and that i don rsquo t deserve to be insulted followed questionned harrassed or threatened in any way my life depends on people paying attention to the fact that this stuff is happening in this supposedly free country where we supposedly value ldquo diversity rdquo and saying ldquo that won rsquo t happen on my watch rdquo I have to say this strikes very close to my heart as my wife is Muslim She chose to stop wearing hijab because she felt it drew more attention to her than she could handle especially considering her reason for wearing it was modesty which she defined as 8220 not drawing attention to oneself 8221 At once considered too liberal too conservative too religious too gay my wife is the woman I most admire and it breaks my heart to see our sister treated this way

Image Dimensions: 384 x 291